Are you Stayin’ Alive?
Or barely Stayin’ Awake?
Can you relate:
You’re in a meeting and you’re having a hard time staying awake…
You’re exhausted at the end of the day…
Your days seem the same, empty, blah, full of endless routines…
Work and sleep. Rinse. Repeat…
So often, our days pass in a blur. We work all day, get home late, pour a glass of wine, plop on the couch, and zone out with Netflix—only to do it all again the next day.
This is when we are lacking in Aliveness, or our aliveness is muted. Aliveness is the seminal existential principle that animates everything. Aliveness, play, intention, truth, commitment, and responsibility are the transformational principles (and we’ll explore them in upcoming newsletters).
What is Aliveness?
Aliveness is energy. It’s the juice, the vitality, and the passion that wakes up our cells every morning. It’s what makes us want to dance. It’s the energy that moves a relationship from the status quo to something grander and much more expansive, something that makes our hearts beat faster, our minds, and our eyes open wider than ever before. Everything is of interest to a person who is truly alive, whether it’s a challenge, a loving moment, a bucket of grief, or a glimpse of beauty.
–Daphne Rose Kingma
I’d love to live with more juice, vitality, passion and more of “what makes us want to dance”! How about you?
Vibrant Living
Harness your aliveness to experience more vitality and passion. Aliveness and the other existential principles operate as the life force moving us away from deadness, burden, victimhood, and the painful ways of living that we so easily fall into if we do not understand the choices we make–choices about how we live our days.
We might not be able to change the what of our days, but we always have choice about the how—and the principle of aliveness gives us a tool to shift gears to vital, vibrant, fulfilled, adventuresome living.
How alive are you? How alive and fully-lived are your days?
Do you like the idea, but the very thought of being more alive makes you tired?
When we learn to orient to principles we get more energy, not less. Principles are the dynamic animating elements of life. They move us in the direction of joy and fulfillment. They connect us and direct our behaviors. They motivate our growing integrity, satisfaction, and fulfillment—and they all spring from the source principle of aliveness.
More Alive is:
Aliveness is the source principle from which all others spring. It is primary. Think of all the words that you could use as synonyms for aliveness:
Thriving
Animated
Curious
Vibrant
Aware
Conscious
Dynamic
Alert
Growing
Energetic
Spirited
Vigorous
Vital
Vivacious
Zestful
Invigorated
Now reflect on their opposites, the antonyms:
Dispirited
Dull
Lifeless
Spiritless
Dead
Out of it
Listless
Tuned out
The Experience of Being Alive
Too often we feel dispirited, listless, dull, tuned out rather than alive, vital, vivacious, invigorated. Yet, underneath it all, we want to have a more vital life, and we want it more than meaning. Life fulfillment expert, Joseph Campbell, captures the deeper yearning we all have to really feel and experience our lives:
I don’t believe people are looking for the meaning of life as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive.
–Joseph Campbell
When we learn to live according to the principle of aliveness, we become more in tune with the world. We become more deeply related to everyone and all aspects of our lives. You can think of aliveness as a quantity, or a sliding scale. We can be more or less alive and vital in any moment, with any interaction. We can choose to practice increasing our Aliveness—in life, ourselves, at work, and in our relationships.
Master the Aliveness Poles
There are two poles to Aliveness–expressive or receptive. Think of interactions with a baby: playing peek-a-boo is expressive (active), while observing the baby sleeping with wonderment is receptive (passive). Being alive varies infinitely from one extreme to another:
from riotous laughter to meditating in blissful peace,
from tickling to holding hands watching the sunset.
Aliveness is the principle of our being. Without it we cease to exist. More alive means being more present, being in the here and now,
sensing what is happening around us—
really seeing, feeling, touching, and hearing—
and participating fully in whatever is going on.
Aliveness in extreme is being fully absorbed, giving yourself to whatever you are doing.
Follow the principle of aliveness and you will never be bored.
Think of kids horsing around in class. You, too, may get in trouble and you may even get hurt, but that gives you the opportunity to learn and grow.
Being fully alive means that you move from fearfully frozen to tentatively engaging,
from feeling stuck to speeding forward,
from opposition to an open consideration of possibility.
You will take risks and become aware of possibilities you never imagined,
constantly learning and growing.
Alive Relationships
Lively relationships are so inviting and exciting!
If you’re missing the spark in your relationships, ask yourself how lively you are in relationships with others. Where do you hold back?
If you want to increase the liveliness of any of your relationships, the best place to start is to look inside at increasing your own aliveness. How have you deadened or muted yourself? What feelings or ways of expressing do you dampen or silence? Remember that a relationship changes when any member of the relationship makes a shift—and maybe the shift your relationships need is for you to show up as a more alive version of yourself.
Want to be more alive, vital, zestful? Practice these TIPS for more Aliveness:
Look, I don’t want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you’re alive you’ve got to flap your arms and legs, you’ve got to jump around a lot, for life is the very opposite of death, and therefore you must at very least think noisy and colorfully, or you’re not alive.
–Mel Brooks
- Tune into your senses in the hear and now. Set a timer for a minute, and during that minute don’t do anything—but be keenly aware of your senses. What do you see? Hear? Smell? Taste? Touch?
- Create a regular rhythm of becoming more alive. Set an alarm to go off every hour of the day. When you hear it, you can improve your aliveness. Notice what happens when you choose aliveness.
- Orient to aliveness in everything you do. Whether getting ready for work, commuting, cooking dinner, doing dishes, or connecting with friends and family, ask yourself—how can I be more alive as I do this? Then go there!
- Notice what makes you feel alive and what deadens you. Keep track of how your choices influence your aliveness and deadness. From your clothing to your diet, to your habits in relationships (like what you say or what you withhold), you may be surprised to discover which of your choices move you toward aliveness or deadness.
- Beware of Soft Addictions as Aliveness blockers. Soft addictions are habits that prevent us from being as alive as we could be. Dr. Judith Wright coined the term and literally wrote the book on this! These include ways we avoid being uncomfortable or fully feeling our emotions.
When in doubt, choose aliveness!
And let us know what you discover. We’d love to hear from you.
P.S. Would you like coaching for support in living with more aliveness? We’d love to explore it with you. Schedule a free 15-minute free exploration conversation:
Judith: https://calendly.com/drjudithwright/discovery-session
Bob: https://calendly.com/drbobwright/discovery-session