Edition 2025.10.16
This month, we’re exploring the science and skills of robust relationships as we head into our 2 free October webinars. It all begins with understanding how deeply connection shapes your brain, your choices, and your future.
In this issue: When disagreements are avoided, relationships grow brittle. When they’re handled with care, they become stronger than ever. Learn how to engage in conflict in ways that build trust, deepen intimacy, and create lasting resilience.
Featuring insights from Judith, Bob, and the LiveWright Team.
When you learn to see conflict as a path to closeness, your relationships become more honest, resilient, and alive.
You know, it’s really like this: conflict isn’t the problem—disconnection is. We were taught that fighting means failure.
But when we fight for the relationship, not against each other, we’re showing up with our whole hearts.
Years ago, a counselor asked Bob and me if we wanted a divorce because our arguments were “intense.” What he missed was this: our engagement was proof of love.
We weren’t in trouble—we were learning. The difference isn’t whether you fight; it’s how you fight.
When you slow down, name your intention, and stay on the same side, conflict becomes a bridge, not a break.
⭐ Try This: Assume & Display Positive Intentions
• When tension spikes, pause before defending your point.
• Make eye contact and say: “I’m on your side. I want us to get through this together. I want to understand you—and be understood.”
Stating your positive intention right at the peak of tension defuses some of the “me versus you” energy.
It signals safety, lowers defensiveness, and creates a clearer path to solutions that honor both of you.
Want to learn more about the Rules of Engagement?
Join us for our 2 FREE Webinars on Robust Relationships:
• Love: The Neuroscience of Connection (Oct. 23) and
• Caring: The Rules of Engagement (Oct. 30)
Each session will help you level up all your relationships.
Register here!
One More Thought:
Conflict isn’t the end of love—it’s the forge that strengthens it. When you fight for connection, you don’t fracture; you deepen.
LiveWright with courage to turn conflict into closeness,
Dr. Judith Wright
When you understand how your brain and body react to conflict, you can learn to stay engaged instead of shutting down or blowing up.
In conflict, your brain flags threat fast. Heart rate spikes, breath gets shallow, attention narrows.
That’s why arguments spiral.
For some, the body surges (fight/flight). For others, it numbs (freeze/withdraw). Regulation first; good relating follows.
A great example of this was when a client realized his “calm withdrawal” was actually an avoidant stress response. As a result, he began to practice lengthening his exhale, naming a single feeling, and then listening.
By doing this, everything shifted. His wife felt heard. He felt steadier. Same disagreement—new nervous system response—better outcome.
When he practiced staying present—lengthening his exhale, naming one feeling, and listening—his marriage softened, and his own baseline calm rose.
In either case, when you focus on regulation first, good relating follows.
⭐ Try This: Anchor With Touch
• The next time you feel yourself getting heated, place one hand on your chest or just below your navel.
• Take 3 slow breaths (in for 4, out for 6) before speaking. Then name one feeling: “I’m noticing I feel….”
This embodied practice signals safety to your nervous system. It grounds you.
You’ll notice reduced reactivity, clearer thinking, and conversations that de-escalate faster—because your body is signaling “safe enough to stay.”
Want to learn how to rewire your reactions in conflict?
Join our 2 FREE Webinars on Robust Relationships: Love: The Neuroscience of Connection (Oct. 23) and Caring: The Rules of Engagement (Oct. 30).
Remember: Your body may react as if conflict is danger—but you can teach it to see conflict as connection. And that changes everything.
LiveWright, with brains that stay calm and hearts that stay open,
Dr. Bob Wright
When you change even one habit in how you handle conflict, you can shift the entire tone of your relationships.
Across our LiveMORE community, we’ve seen it repeatedly: tiny skill swaps create big relational shifts.
One couple replaced “You never listen” with a simple template—“When X happens, I feel Y. Could we try Z?”—and watched blame turn into dialogue.
Over time, those small changes transformed their marriage’s tone. Such a simple practice, but it delivered amazing results.
⭐ Try This: Replace Blame with a Request
This week, catch yourself when you’re about to say “You always” or “You never.”
Instead, reframe with: “When X happens, I feel Y. Could we try Z?”
You’ll notice less defensiveness, more openness, and a quicker path to workable solutions you can both support.
Want to discover the small shifts that create big relationship change?
Don’t miss our 2 FREE webinars on Robust Relationships: Love: The Neuroscience of Connection (Oct. 23) and Caring: The Rules of Engagement (Oct. 30).
And remember: Conflict doesn’t have to tear you apart. With small, intentional changes, it can be the very thing that builds you up—and makes your relationships stronger than ever.
LiveWright, with connection, compassion, and conscious growth,
Dr. Bob, Dr. Judith, and the whole LiveWright Team
