Want to welcome possible into your life? 

Welcome the power of authenticity. Being real, being yourself fully, draws people closer to you, creates trust and respect, and helps others to be more comfortable as themselves around you, leading to better relationships and less stress. 

But our world is not set up to encourage us to be real. We’re afraid to show our authentic selves. We’ve been taught that certain parts of ourselves are not OK and we have to hide them. We project a false self because we want others to like us, and we’re afraid they won’t if they see who we really are.

What are you holding back? What don’t you share with others? What are the masks that you wear? What parts of yourself do you keep hidden? Where are you faking it to fit in?

If you’re a people pleaser, you most likely hold back what you really think or feel quite a bit. This reduces your power, influence, and most of all, personal satisfaction.

And if you’re not a people pleaser, you might pick fights or displease others so that you don’t have to get close to them or show your vulnerable side. Or you might be dodging authenticity by avoiding confrontation—have you ever told yourself to let something go rather than addressing it, or been afraid to bring up frustrations or bad news because you don’t want to be rejected or don’t want to deal with someone’s reaction?

You might bring that fear to work by avoiding speaking your mind or, on the opposite end, running over what someone else is saying rather than allowing yourself to truly listen. [Or you go along with something you don’t really want or agree with, because you don’t want to make waves.] Or maybe you act like you have it all together, but inside you are feeling anything but. But the cost of not being real is high: stress, alienation, avoidance at work, and reduced intimacy in relationships. 

Being authentic—being real—is freeing. It strengthens relationships, fosters trust and respect, and increases your ability to influence and lead. It may be scary, it may break some of the rules you were taught on how to behave, you may feel vulnerable, but on the plus side, you gain power, you are known, you are free to be YOU! 

The existential philosophers define authenticity as being true to who you can become, not to who you have been. So be true to your future self, be true to who you are becoming, be true to the you that you are capable of becoming. The you that is true, genuine, revealed, vulnerable, sharing your gifts and your weaknesses, your thoughts, opinions, feelings–the essence of you!

Here are three ways to tap into the power of your authenticity:

1. Monitor what you think. Notice the times you’re holding back. It could be just a little thing. It could be saying yes when you meant no. Or it could be dismissing something that’s really been bothering you. Assess the price of holding back versus the potential benefit of speaking up.
2. Notice the impact that not being “real” has on you emotionally in worry, deadness, not connecting, not being truly known or seen, etc. What does it do to your relationships?
3. Take a risk. Share what you are feeling. Voice your opinions. Let someone know when you are hurting, angry, or scared. What is it like to not be held back–when you let others know more of the ‘real’ you? It may be scary, but chances are it is also empowering and freeing.

We’d love to hear how it goes, so please reach out to us and tell us how being the real you welcomed possible into your life.

LiveWright and be well.